Changing Doctors: The Lesser of two evils

Spoke to my therapist on the phone today. She rang my GP yesterday to clarify some stuff about my current care and support.

To remind you all I moved to London in August 2013. I had to leave behind my AMAZING GP in Cambridge and register with a new doctor’s surgery. Unfortunately the new doctors surgery is overcrowded and disorganised. I finally settled on a GP who seemed ok at the surgery but then she left. BEfore leaving she referred me to a NHS psych and recommended another Dr at the surgery(Let’s call her Dr S). However, as I have said in previous blog-posts Dr S admitted to me that she thinks I know more about mental health that she does, and therefore, she would find it difficult to help me. Her solution to my suicidal depression was ‘perhaps do some exercise’…. helpful? No! Dr S has been unsympathetic and seemingly completely under-trainined (is this the case/ is she just an incompetent doctor?) in the area of mental health. She appeared disinterested in my illness and didn’t offer me any support.

As you also know if you have been reading my blogs I am on a 6 month (minimum) waiting list for the Complex Care Team to reassess me (the original psych couldn’t make his mind up) and for DBT. However I was also due a check-up psychiatrist appointment in March. March has been and gone. Dr S refused to chase up appointment, saying it would come…  Appointment never came! So I took the initiative and called the hospital where I was initially assessed. They had forgotten to arrange promised follow-up appointment. They said they’d call back that day or email. No call and no email. Obviously. I rang again. They said they’d ring back… they didn’t. Of course. I finally rang back for the last time and they have given me a half hour appointment. Despite telling them I was at crisis point they haven’t been able to give me an appointment until the 30th April. To make matters worse it is only a half hour appointment (I don’t know what on earth can be achieved in half an hour!!) AND to top it off, my appointment is with a different psych, not my original one (the one who made the diagnosis). I’m not sure how useful, if at all, a half an hour appointment with a different psych will be?

On top of all this my therapist believes I have been given the wrong diagnosis by the original psych. The original Psych seemed to think Borderline Personality Disorder was more likely than bipolar, though he admits I may have bipolar, but he cannot tell this in an hour session (if he cannot tell this in an hour session why haven’t I been called back in for further assessment???) My therapist thinks a mood disorder like bipolar is more likely than BPD. She believes I just have BPD symptoms on top of Bipolar Disorder (I have in the past been diagnosed with cyclothymia). However I am not going to get to the bottom of this until I am reassessed by the Complex Care Team after the 6 month wait. 6 months?? This isn’t good enough. That’s 6 extra months of living with an unmedicated and untreated mood/ personality disorder (The original psych hasn’t even written the official diagnosis document up yet (my appt was Janurary!!), so I don’t even know for certain what he thought – I just have the immediate Care Plan document in which he indicated the BPD diagnosis). I’m also not too sure what happens to previous diagnoses – do they just become discounted? I have already received a diagnoses of cyclothymia and recurrent depressive disorder in the last 12 months. Do these diagnoses get discounted and replaced with this new psych’s thoughts on BPD?

My therapist really wants me to get a second opinion – this is one of the reasons why she rang Dr S. However Dr S mumbled something about lack of time, and budget issues… and said she could’t really press for a second opinion…. I’m sure it is my right to be able to get a second opinion on the NHS?

These circumstances may be partially bearable had I a more responsible and caring GP. However this is not the case. I am therefore going to have to change surgeries. This is going to be stressful and time-consuming, but at the moment I feel it is the lesser of two evils. I need support from a GP whilst I wait for psychiatry appointments and assessments. My therapist is great. Super in fact. But she cannot officially diagnose me or prescribe me medication.

I feel like moving all the way back to Cambridge just so I can have the support from my old GP. This shouldn’t have to be the case. There should be more passionate and caring GPs out there. My trust in the NHS is dwindling and I am praying that the next surgery I pick will help instil some of that trust back in me.

Sorry for the ranty blog-post. As you can see I am pretty furious. This blog was more for me I suppose. I good excuse to splurge my feelings in a safe place. But perhaps some of you can empathise/ are going through similar things?

Thanks for reading.

I am also on twitter – @fighting_stigma

I need help!

I have blogged about something similar before but this blog is sort of a continued expression of my frustration at the Mental Health system in this country. 

When I saw my psychiatrist in January he promised me an appointment in March. I would be informed by letter about said appointment. By March I still hadn’t heard anything so a few weeks ago I rang and spoke to him. I said I was struggling and he agreed to remind his receptionist to make the appointment….3 weeks later I still hadn’t heard anything. Last Tuesday I reached crisis level and rang the receptionist and she said that no appointment had been made and that she’d get the psychiatrist to email me that day or the next day. EMAIL?? Email is not a good enough way to deal with someone in crisis. But setting the method of communication aside for one moment, I haven’t actually received anything from him – no email, call, text, letter by owl. Nothing. Why? Does he not see my case as important? Did the receptionist forget to tell him about my call? Is there no time free to offer me appointment? Because I am BP or BPD and not suicidal always (highs and lows) am I a smaller risk than someone in a major depressive episode? It isn’t good enough. 

I am on a never-ending waiting list for the Complex Care Team to re-assess me and offer me therapy, but in the meantime I am stuck with NO support from Medical professinals. My GP has admitted her incompetence to me and says she isn’t willing to offer advice in case it’s the wrong advice and my psych seems to be swamped with patients… or incompetent himself. I NEED SUPPORT. But I am not in an emergency. I don’t need to go to A&E and I don’t need the Crisis Care Team to come to my house (I don’t think so anyway…). I just need to see a consultant or doctor regularly to assess my meds and offer me some practical advice!

I am very sorry if other people out there are experiencing similar things. It sucks. But message me if you fancy talking about it. 

x